Every Fanfic Ever WrittenTHE EXPLANATORY FIC(CHARACTERS do something interesting. CAMERA fades to black in the middle of it.)CAMERA: Well, I'm done here.AUTHOR: Like hell you are.THE BACKSTORY FICCHARACTER: Alas, I do not have much of a backstory.AUTHOR: Now you do!CHARACTER: ... hooray?THE BACKSTORY FIC, PART 2EXTREMELY MINOR CHARACTER: I have no backstory, no personality, and perhaps three lines of dialogue.AUTHOR: Well, we can't have that.THE MARY SUECHARACTER: I'm OOC.MARY SUE: I'm stereotypical.(Awkward moment.)CHARACTER: I love you.MARY SUE: I love you too, snookie-ookie-wookums.THE SELF-INSERTCHARACTER: Something is wrong.